Yep I’ve failed. I’ve messed up. I just can’t cut it as a parent. 

That’s how it feels anyway! 

I fail daily as a parent. I mess up every day and I’m making it up as I go along. I’m trying my best but I’m just not good at this parenting stuff. 

There’s one area which is particularly traumatic. 

Homework. 

Can I hear a collective sigh? Am I alone in thinking that homework is stressful and  tricky?? 

I just can’t sit down with my Girl10 and help her with her homework. It’s got to the point this year where the tension, stress, anxiety, suffered by her (and me!) is just TOO MUCH! We’ve sacrificed completing homework for the sake of our relationship. I’ve explained this to the teacher and Head. Both of whom are lovely. It still hurts though that I can’t help her in this way. She gets so anxious (her anxiety is getting worse lately, the end of term isn’t helping) and does find it difficult. She suffers a lot with low self esteem. We’ve tried many techniques (I’m open to anything which will help us!) but alas, nothing has really helped. 

Daddy and Granny have had success which is good for Girl10 but crushing for me! What am I doing wrong? I’m considering that I have failed. 

When we went to adoption panel I remember very little as I was completely terrified but I do remember clearly being asked ‘what do you consider to be important as a parent?’ I replied ‘to pick your battles’. That answer came out of my gut pre-parent feelings but I still stand by it, 8 years on and 3 children later. Pick your battles. I’ve chosen not to pick this one. I value my relationship with my child too much and so it trumps over homework and the stress it brings! So I have to let this go, for now, maybe not for forever, and move on. 

Fortunately there are others around me who can give support! 

Ruth 

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